Saturday, September 8, 2012


I thought I was through with poo for the week after the bird incident, but it seems to be in the cards for me to be covered in crap at all times. Thursday night while getting ready for bed I noticed some black sludge creeping out of the drain into my bathtub. Oh God, it smelled like a Cheeto and a dirty diaper had mated, on a bed of toenail clippings.... in a microwave.  After not having any luck with Draino and a plunger that night..I went on a quest to the Ace Hardware and consulted the internet oracles the following day.. Many more hours of praying and hoping and plunging, pans of boiling hot water, and liquid plumr later...finally the hair clump bog dragon beast is slain. While hopefully not actual poo, whatever the heck it was that backed up into my tub has been defeated.... or has it? (says the end of every horror movie ever...)
Fun fact:
# of days this week spent covered in poo 3/5
# non-poo days: 2/5


I do not like those odds.  Is a poo-free week too much to ask? Most people who spend the better part of a week covered in excrement have kids, or an awesome pet with a good throwing arm like an orangutan to offset the downside of spending one's week covered in poo. If we meet in the cleaning supply aisle and I decline to shake hands, please don't be offended...I may be sparing you because I'm having a poo week.

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